The Digital Diary of a Madman

Journal Entry 61

In the middle of the day when the sunlight was at its fullest I unlocked the closet and slowly opened the door. It was still there, a staircase that descended into the earth that was hidden under the floor that I had removed. I grabbed a flashlight, took a deep breath and began to climb down the stairs. The stairs where not strait they wound downward to the left. I could not see more than about eight feet in front of me in this cramp cavity. The most unique feature of these stairs was that they were carved from stone. Someone had painstakingly carved out this orifice with some type of chipping tool. I was deeply enthralled about the idea of what might lie at the end of these stairs. What treasures, if any, where hidden down here. I went down about 60 steps and realize I had to be at least 30 feet underground. I thought the stairs would empty out into a basement or dead-end where someone stopped chipping away at the earth that my house stood upon. I was disturbed by the fact that neither of these conclusions where materializing. I then realized what disturbed me about the chiseled marks on the stair walls. They were reversed. What ever carved out these steps did it from the bottom-up! Something dug its way out and not carved its way in. I became very afraid coming to this conclusion and ran back up the stairs. I prayed the entrance would not be blocked on these sinister steps. I felt as if I where in a funhouse and the stairs would collapse into a slide and suck me down into the abyss. However, I emerged unscathed shut and locked the door. I did not sleep last night as a result of this unbelievable ordeal.

Journal Entry 60

I was awoken last night by the wind howling. It echoed off the walls and made it sound like words teasing and taunting me. Then I heard it. Bam! Bam! Bam! There was something knocking on my door. I got up and went to peek out the window. No one was out there. I will install a security monitor if this continues. I did not have any dreams last night so maybe the intrusion kept me from dreaming, which is good. Who knows?

Journal Entry 59

I awoke to what sounded like angry chanting. It was faint but audible. I rose from my bed and tried to get a fix on the sound. It got stronger as I walked toward the front closet. It was coming from under the floor. I grabbed the axe that I had purchased from the hardware store today and swung it violently at the oak floor. The blade split the boards and I pulled hard to sheer the wood. The hole I had made emitted a dusty, mildew soaked belch of air into my face. There was a breeze coming from the hole I just created. I reached my hand into the blackness of the hole and found only open space. I quickly used the axe to widen the hole only to find a passageway carved in stone leading down. My heart began to feel like it was going to pound out of my chest. I felt acutely afraid of what I might find if I entered this dark orifice. I quickly put the door back on its hinges and locked the closet. I have had enough adventures for one night. I slept with all the lights on in the house.

Journal Entry 58

I took the hinges of the closet door today. The room had blood splashed on the walls and scratch marks on the wood floor. I was horrified to think about what may have transpired in here. I did not know or I could remember both frightened me. Unfortunately, that was only the beginning. I notice that the scratch marks stopped at one of the boards. I knocked on it and it was hollow. In fact, it seemed like a 2 * 2 foot section of floor was hollow. I reached around for cracks of raises in the wood to pry the floor up but I found none. It is to late to go get the tools to bust up the floor so I guess I’ll just wait for tomorrow. I had no dreams last night but do remember hearing faint chanting as I began to dose off.

Journal Entry 57

I dreamt of a light coming from down the hallway last night. It had a faint pulse that would peak about every couple of seconds. I heard what sounded like faint voices, it almost sounded like chanting. I got out of bed and walked toward the door. I peeked around the corner saw the light was coming from under the closet door. I walked to the closet and slowly began to open it. Just then the door blasted open and knocked me to the floor. There in the door was the Webbed one. It was shaped like a giant spider, it quickly pinned me to the floor and let out a blood-curdling screech. I woke up gasping and sweating. I still am unable to find the key to that closet. Tomorrow I will take the hinges of it. That may calm the nightmare for a while.

Journal Entry 56

I was extremely fatigued all day. I felt like I just came out of a coma. I worked on picking up the house and I found a lot of dirt, rocks and what appears to be scratch marks by the front closet. The closet is locked and I am too tired to search for the key. I had no dreams today but I did most of sleeping during the day on and off. I just feel exhausted and sore. I hope to feel better tomorrow so that I may take care of house and I need to go grocery shopping.

Journal Entry 55

I awoke today to a room that was totally foreign to me. The basic geometry of the room was the same but everything in it was alien to me. I jumped out of bed and began to panic. I ran past a mirror as I sprinted toward the hallway. There in the mirror I did not recognize the thing that I saw. What I saw was too hideous to describe. My skin was as black as coal and greasy like oil. My teeth were razor sharp and long. My eyes were catlike and my pupils were elongated and reflected. I also noticed wings that tucked and folded onto my back quite compactly. I let out a scream and a wave came. I could feel the wave build inside of me and then suddenly it released. The building that housed me exploded apart with such force that an observer would have thought a nuclear bomb had exploded. I felt an intense feeling come over me as I sat in the apex of the mighty concussive blow that I had just unleashed with a roar. I felt the comfort of power, the intoxicating feeling of invincibility showered over me. I awoke today June 9 after falling asleep the night of May 25. I have a full beard and the food in my refrigerator has been eaten. I reviewed my videotape that I use to monitor my sleep and it stopped taping after six hours, which showed me lying in bed sleeping. I live alone and don’t know anyone in this area. I wonder how this could happen? I’m scared. I’m confused.

Journal Entry 54

I did not sleep again last night. My nerves are shot. I need some sleep. Pray for me.

Journal Entry 53

Arias visited me last night. He glided across the floor on a blanket of air. He grabbed me and forced me to look at his rotting face. His skin moved as if some insects lie beneath his skin eating him from the inside out. He opened an empty eye socket and a bloody maggot fell into my mouth that he held open. I attempted to call him by name but he held my mouth closed so the maggot could crawl into my stomach. I could feel a small series of stings as the larva squirmed into the pit of my stomach. Then my entire body began to burn. It was so intense that I thought I was being burned alive. I blacked out and when I came to I was in the dark place. I was at a stream that ran black as ink. To my back was the fortress of prior dreams humming and pulsing its greenish red light. I walked up to the stream and looked over it. There in the shining black water I saw my reflection. I had acquired horns, wings, fangs and claws. My wings were flapping ever so slightly to the pulse of the light. I also in the water caught a glimpse of something flying above me. I spun to look and my planted hand touch the water. The water grabbed me and pulled me into the stream. I woke up and sat strait up in my bed sweating and exhausted. I felt as if I had been poisoned.

Journal Entry 52

The Old one visited me tonight. I could hear the sound of her rocking at my bedside. She stroked my head softly. Her hand felt like a raisin made of velvet with it wrinkles and thin skin. She said she was here to answer my questions. She began to speak without me saying a word. "Seth was born to be the leader, the muscle of the father. However, he alone could not apprehend the Free one. So the father gave birth to Arias, the second son, and the father’s seer. He was regurgitated from the pit of the father’s stomach on the Sabbath. The Father ripped Arias’s eyes from their sockets so that he would learn to see from within. It is his job to look throughout the universes to find the Free one." I felt the breeze enter the room and I heard the rocking chair settle to still. I opened my eyes to find myself alone. The Old one was gone and I felt abandoned and enlightened by her visit.

Journal Entry 51

I had insomnia last night and did not sleep. I’m going to be tired today.

Journal Entry 50

I dreamt of the Beautiful one last night. We were in the mountains overlooking a giant hot spring. There were animals that looked like polar bears with horns like a ram that bathed and feed on the bank of the spring. A red moon was rising and bright blue rings surrounded it. We were holding hands and she was leaning on my shoulder. She looked at me and thanked me for bringing her here. She said it was so serene and tranquil. She said that she had run from here brothers for more millennia then she could remember. She was so tired of running and said she new I would come to save her. Her statement generated many questions for me. I wanted to ask her about her brothers. I wanted to know why they were chasing her. It was then that a fierce wind blew a large branch against my window causing me to awake. The bang was so loud it sounded like a bomb had exploded.

Journal Entry 49

The little one visited me last night. His agitation was transparent by the speed in which he rattled his tail. He slithered into my room very rapidly, coiled and pounced on top of me. He grabbed me by the throat and stared at me. His head cocked slightly, gazing, contemplating what pains he would impose upon me. He whipped me with his tale and I was sure I felt blood trickle down my leg where his tail stuck me. However, I was unable to turn my head to inspect the damage he had inflicted since his grip was like iron. In a fight for air as he squeezed my neck I yelled, “Quit Seth”! His eyes widened and his grip loosened. He looked bewildered almost frightened by my statement. He snapped, “How dare you speak my name”? “Which of my enemies have you made a pact with?” Oh no, I was afraid I gave away the Beautiful one’s secret. I feared that if he knew it was her that informed me then he hunt her down and kill her. I feebly attempted to throw him off the trail. I looked at him sternly and barked loudly, “I am learning to control my gift so to hell with you demon before I show you what else I have learned.” I was trembling inside for fear he would call my bluff. He stared at me with a look of frustration and confusion. That look seemed to last for an eternity but finally he slithered out of the room never taking his eyes off me as he made his exit. I exhaled, realizing that I was not breathing as he inspected me during his departure. I awoke in a sweat and the videotape showed that I was flailing under the covers I also had a scrape on my leg. I may have scratched myself in the frenzy of the nightmare.

Journal Entry 48

I dreamt of the blue/brown eye girl again last night. This time she had short jet-black hair and had smooth olive skin. She always looked different but she was always beautiful. We were in a cave. The light from holes above bounced off the multicolored crystals that lined the cavern floor casting a kaleidoscope of colors on the walls and lake contained within the cavity. We were sitting on a ledge that looked like it was fashioned from a giant red ruby. She was telling me something. I pulled my attention to listen to her words. She said that Seth was the oldest brother. He was birthed from the vomit of the father. His existence and will is nothing more than an extension of his creator. Seth’s only purpose is to serve his father. His snake-like form is one of the father archetypes, one of his pure forms. I did not understand what it all meant but in time I felt the pieces might come together. It was a strange and wonderful dream.

Journal Entry 47

The sightless on returned tonight. He glided across the room so effortlessly hands outstretched anticipating finding my neck. He latched onto to me in a parasitic rage. I tried to look away from him but he grabbed my face and forced my eyes open. I fell fast into those deep empty bloody sockets where his eyes may or may not have once existed. I awoke on a cold stone-like surface. My body tingled as if it was a limb that had fallen asleep. I could hear the hum and pulsing of something under me. I discovered by a quick inspection that I was suspended on top of that dark city that with every dream I approached closer and closer. I was standing on top of some type of platform that resembled a capped smoke stack. I was perched upon the apex of the fortress. There was no higher point then the one I now inhabited. How did I get up here? It was taller then any structure on earth its glow surrounded my, engulfed me. It was then that I looked up to see its shadow. Some large winged creature circling me like a vulture. It was to dark to distinguish what the creature was but it did not look friendly. The next thing I remember was waking up with my body sore and my mouth dry.

Journal Entry 46

I dreamt of the women again. We were in a blue flowing field of grain perched on a cliff overlooking a yellow tinted sky. The sky was fading to red as a pair of twin suns set over a calm green ocean. We were holding hand and the wind through her hair made her look even more spectacular and radiant than I remembered her. Her skin was very tan and smooth and her lips were so full I almost ached to kiss them. I focused on her mouth as if I would kiss her and then she spoke. She thanked me for bringing her to this beautiful place and told me how safe she felt with me. She turned to look at me as if she was about to confide in me. She then said in a meek tone, they are all an extension of the father. I asked her whom she was speaking? She said the same creatures that haunt me hunt her. I was puzzled over what this was all about. Just then the bookshelf on my wall broke and the crashing books pulled me from my temporary paradise. Maybe in time I will come to understand what she was trying to tell me.

Journal Entry 45

I dreamt last night of the blue/brown eye women. She was tall and blonde this time but those eyes are unmistakable. She was breathing hard as if she was running from something. I could hear what sounded like growling coming at us from all sides as if we were surrounded by a pack of starving wolves. She spoke to me; her voice was confident and soft. Her voice seemed to originate inside of me as if she was talking from inside of me. She told me not to look concerned; her brothers were not strong enough or wise enough to catch her. She said she would be watching and leaned over to kiss me. Her lips were soft and smooth and her eyes almost seemed to glow as if she was made of light and disguised her brilliants by containing it within her flesh. I woke up feeling pretty good and I cannot stop thinking of her.

Jounal Entry 44

My heart has been racing all day. It is like my body is a car with the pedal pushed to the floor but the car is not in gear. I found myself many times through out the day feeling like I was going to pass out and I would start sweating for no reason. I am done with the anti-depressants! I stopped taking the Prazosin and I refuse to try any others. I would rather dream just at night rather than being dead and never being able to wake from the nightmare.

Journal Entry 43

I have been shaky and scatterbrained all day. I have caught myself many times just spacing out. I’m generally feeling worse and worse. I have a sneaking suspicion that it is the Prazosin. I’m probably just experiencing my body getting use to the drug being introduced into my system. Time will tell but for now the lack of dreams are a warm welcome.

Journal Entry 42

I have felt generally uneasy all day. It might be that I’m catching a cold or maybe an allergy to something I ate. I feel like I’m in a daze like I just woke up or something, except the feeling of just being awakened has lasted all day. I hope it is not the new medicine. It allowed me to sleep without a dream last night.

Journal Entry 41

I went to the psychiatrist again. She changed my medication to Prazosin. It seems to be working since the night came and went without a dream. I feel pretty good on this stuff too.

Journal Entry 40

The Webbed one came in my sleep last night. It spun its way into my room so fast I thought it meant to consume me. The whipping of its web sounded reminiscent of machine gun fire. It quickly spun me tight and sat me upright. It attached webs to my eyelids and secured the other ends tight around my head. I could feel my eyes begin to burn since I was no longer able to blink or shut them. He was forcing me to be the audience to another sadistic puppet show. The webs in the middle of this creatures body began to pulse and change shape. First, an image of a wolf appeared then the one wolf split symmetrically into four wolves. Each wolf spun around and prowled north, south, east, and west. Then they turned around on the stage, fabricated from webs, and stared at the center where they just walked from. There in the middle formed a woman. They all attacked her from their four directions converging on her as if it was all some sadistic synchronized feeding frenzy. They then turned to concentrate their attention on me. They all lunged at me, I screamed, awoke, and sat up.

Journal Entry 39

The old women returned tonight. I heard her rocking so I opened my eyes to see who was visiting me. Her eyes lie concealed behind her thick dark bifocals. She looked so frail as if at any time her sagging skin would dissolve from the skeleton in which it barely clung to. She began to speak as if to give me answers to questions I have yet to ask. She said, in a matter of fact way, that they are all related. I asked who was all related. She said the demons were all brothers. They were born of the father. The wind picked up and began to make a noise that sounded like howling. I began to ask what she meant by born of the father but she was gone. The chair was still rocking as if she was still seated upon it but had become transparent.

Journal Entry 38

The Sightless One returned tonight. He chattered his teeth as he slid across the room. He grabbed me and forced me to look into those lifeless empty sockets. I awoke from the fall to find myself in the dark land. I was at a set of doors that had to be 40 feet tall. The shape of the doors, the archway and the writing on them made the two doors resemble a single headstone that I remember seeing in the cemetery. I could hear sounds, see colors, and smell things that where not typical for a human. I heard a flutter behind me; I spun to find wings attached to my back flapping. They began to beat in rhythm with the pulses of light and sound that exuded from behind the set of doors. It was as if something behind those doors had control of the wings. I awoke to a terrible back spasm. It hurts to turn my neck, so I’ll write more when I feel better.

Journal Entry 37

Last night was a night of reprieve. I dreamt of a beautiful woman again. This time was different in terms of setting. All my encounters up until now were always in my room. This time I was in a meadow with one giant oak tree that went into the clouds and many streams met at the giant oak. I was lying against the tree and she was sitting crossed legged across from me smiling. Her face was different the rest of the women I dreamt about but she had one brown eye and one blue which never seemed to vary. She thanked me for bringing her to this place. She said she felt safe and wanted to rest. I felt desire well up inside of me and I felt the need to touch her. Her skin felt warm and smooth and she placed her hand on my thigh. She said that her brothers would never find her here and she wanted to sleep. She placed her head in my lap and I stroked her head until she fell asleep. That was the last thing I can recall from the dream before I awoke.

Journal Entry 36

I dreamt again last night. The Little One returned. He slithered in with his tail rattling in dismay. He was wounded, he had a large chunk of his putrid flesh ripped and hanging. He coiled around me and sunk his fangs into my shoulder. I felt the burn as his poison paralyzed me. I sat there wishing to scream in agony but I was unable to make a sound. I was a corpse whose soul refused to depart its lifeless body. He tore the hanging flesh from his side and squeezed its rotting juices into my gaping mouth. He said that my rebellion caused his wounds and I was to taste his pain. The taste and smell of the substance in my mouth made me want to vomit but my body was unable to comply. He said didn’t want it to be like this but I brought this upon myself. He said he and his brothers are the ones who can teach me how use my gift if only I stop resisting. The pain was intense and even though he was inches from me it felt like he was miles away. I wanted to ask him who his brothers were but I was unable to mouth the words. I awoke gasping for air. Unfortunately, I was unable to review the tape of my sleep since the storm knocked out the power about midnight.

Journal Entry 35

I have been vomiting all day with a migraine headache. I am going to have to discontinue my medication. I couldn't keep it down even if I did take it. It’s not fair. I dream I suffer, I don't dream I suffer. Maybe I was just created to suffer.

Journal Entry 34

I have had a headache all day. I have been dizzy and unable to think strait. I think it is from the Topiramate. I hope my body acclimates to the drug or else I may have to stop taking it. However, it is effective at keeping me from dreaming.

Journal Entry 33

I went to see a psychiatrist about my problem nightmares. She prescribed a medication to help with the nightmares. It is drug called Topiramate. It seems to be working. I had no dreams last night but I feel strange today. It may be a side effect of the drug.

Journal Entry 32

The old women returned again tonight. She said it was her job to make sure I understood what was happening to me. She said I was a psychic conduit between worlds. She further explained that have achieved the pinnacle of mental evolution, dimensional freedom. She sat calmly rocking and in her sweet young voice began telling me my genetic make-up was assembled in such a way that it resonated as a gateway between many worlds. She said that my mind is the key to the vehicle and I must work on learning to channel it like a baby learns to walk. She said that there are very powerful forces that have discovered my universal uniqueness and are fighting over me as if I was a commodity to be bought and sold. They all have there own interests in mind and will do what ever it takes to control my gift and me. My head began to ache and I began to here voices as if a crowd was gathering around me. I felt very frightened, awoke and sat strait up. The window was open and a strong breeze was rocking the chair next to my bed. I shut the window turned on all the lights and was unable to fall back asleep.

Journal Entry 31

I dreamt of a fiery red headed woman last night. She had one blue eye and one brown eye. She hovered over me in a state of unrest. She told me in a whisper that they were coming for her. She confided that they have been chasing her for many millennia but she is always able to elude them. I asked her who was chasing her. She told me it was her brothers. I heard a distant set of screams or maybe they were cries or howls. She heard it too and reacted with a look of concern. She told me she must leave or they may hurt me and she would not allow that to happen. She vanished as if she was a balloon popped with a pin. The room seemed almost menacing after her retreat and I felt acutely alone.

Journal Entry 30

I dreamt of an old woman last night. She sat in a rocking chair next to my bed. She was knitting and rocking. She looked very old and was very wrinkled. She wore darkly tinted bifocals that seemed to give her gray hair a bluish tint. Her voice had a vigor and clarity of a woman a quarter of her age. It was as if she was a young soul cursed to dwell in a dilapidated carcass. I began to sit up and she told me to lie down and rest. She began to talk about all that I have been experiencing. She knew about all of them, the woman/women, the Little One, the Sightless One, and the Webbed One. She even spoke of four others she called the master’s sons. She spoke so calmly like all that I have been experiencing was common practice. She said all would become clear in time. I closed my eyes and just listened to her voice. There was a pause and I opened my eyes to an empty room. She was gone as quickly as she appeared. I witnessed the chair still rocking next to the bed but she was nowhere to be found.

Journal Entry 29

I tried to sleep during the day but there where too many distraction so I fell asleep about 11:00 at night. It was a good night. I had no dreams, no nightmares, and no problems. I think I may finally be making some progress. I know it is too soon to tell but I can only hope.

Journal Entry 28

I slept from 11 a.m. until 6 p.m. on a lawn chair in the backyard. I had no dreams or visions. I may try to sleep during the day when possible. It may be the night that brings them. Time will tell.

Journal Entry 27

I was unable to fall asleep last night. It is going to be a long day.

Journal Entry 26

The sightless one returned tonight. I could smell his rot before he entered the room. He glided along the floor as if it was made of ice. A chill came over me and he pinned me against the bed. His lids opened so fast I questioned if they were ever closed. I felt his eyeless sockets pulling me into the dark place. I awoke on the edge of a cliff. A low pulsating hum and light from behind me made my head pound. In front of me was a pit that seemed to be bottomless. I grabbed for a better grip to ensure I would not slip and fall into the abyss. The hum and pulsating greenish-red light were coming from above and behind me. It cast my shadow into the pit as if it was tempting my body to follow it. I turned to see the light and there it stood, a fortress more immense than any structure on this planet. It was twisted and complex in its architecture. It looked like its purpose was to keep something out or worse yet keep something in. It was then that the ledge broke and I fell into the abyss. It instantly woke me, my heart pounding in my chest.

Journal Entry 25

I did not dream of the demons. Instead I had a dream that I was some sort of creature that could fly. I sat perched in a tree and watched a black cougar with different color eyes feast on a kill on the ground below. It ate as if it was starving but did not look undernourished. The neighboring forest animals squawked with anxiety over the cougar’s presence. It was a strange dream but better then having the demons visit.

Journal Entry 24

The little one returned last night. He slithered in slowly with a concerned almost caring look on his face. He approached the bed like a worried parent coming in to check on his sick child. He told me he was sorry for threatening me the other night and was very remorseful. He then went on to warn me that a woman would come and tell me things. He told me that she was not to be trusted and is out to harm me. He said I am destined for great things but the pretty one only wants to keep me from my divine conquests. He said he and I are both players in a game that is bigger than I could even begin to fathom and we are merely pebbles in a stream. No matter where we place ourselves in the river, the water still flows around us. What is destined to become has already happened and we are just waiting for the “now” to catch up. It was then that the journal falling off the table snapped me out of the dream. I reviewed the videotape and I bumped the table to cause the journal to fall. Thank God!

Journal Entry 23

She returned again last night. Her features had changed yet she was no less beautiful. What was distinct and what made her easily identifiable were her eyes, one was brown and one was blue. She hovered above me wearing flowing white cotton-like material that was blowing slowly in the light breeze. She moves as if she was submerged in water. She spoke softly to me, this time I could hear her. Her voice thundered in my head like someone had placed a microphone and amplifier in my skull. It was angelic in tone and pitch; her word possessed a rhythmic intonation pattern that soothed my soul. She said she had admired me from birth and had waited for eons for my arrival. She apologized for not always being there to protect me from them, the demons, but she had to hide from her pursuers. She promised me she would keep them away as long as she could but they are very strong and very clever. There was the sound of a distant howl. She floated away slowly as if filled with helium and waved reassuringly as she faded away.

Journal Entry 22

I returned to a normal sleep schedule last night and have removed all sharp objects within reach of my bed. I have also begun videotaping my sleep. I hope to discover what happens during these episodes. Last night was my first night taping. However, I didn’t have any dreams last night that I can remember. I reviewed the tape of last night and I saw nothing unusual.

Journal Entry 21

I could not stay awake. The little one returned angrier than I have ever seen him. He slithered in so fast I thought I was a lame mouse and he the starving snake. He grabbed me with his rubbery clammy claws. His nails pierced my sides and I could feel the blood trickle down my naked flesh. He wrapped his tail around my neck and slowly began constricting the airflow. He told me if I ever try to keep them away again he would be forced to punish me. I woke up to the alarm clock’s screaming beacon. I felt a pain in my side. I looked to find punctures in my flesh. Three lacerations on each side, they where positioned one above the next on both sides of my lower back. Dried blood played connect-the-dots from one claw wound to the next down my side. There was blood on the bed and blood on the table next to the bed as well as the tip of the pen on the table.

Journal Entry 20

I haven’t slept in 36 hours. When I lay down to sleep my mind starts racing. The noises in my head are growing louder and I haven’t been able to concentrate. I must go now and try to clear my head, maybe close my eyes and rest.

Journal Entry 19

I fell asleep driving today and almost killed some poor old woman when I swerved into her lane. I am so tired, I don’t know if I can manage my new sleep schedule much longer.

Journal Entry 18

I am attempting to sleep in one-hour chucks in order to avoid REM or dream phases. I have been sleeping one hour and then staying awake for 3. So far no dreams I can remember and more importantly no unwanted visitors.

Journal Entry 17

I did not sleep last night. I do not want to sleep again.

Journal Entry 16

The webbed one returned tonight. It chattered as I heard the cracks of its webs propelling it. It spun its web around me and suspended me from the ceiling. I thought it would eat me or abandon me to die slowly. Instead, at the nexus of the webs where there was once a humanoid mass, the webs now changed into a shape of a woman. Then it morphed into a giant doglike creature that resembled a hairless werewolf. Then it changed again to show both the woman and the werewolf. It began to animate these figures as if it was creating a stage with its webs and the woman and werewolf were its marionettes. It was the puppet master pulling the strings. It then had the canine attack and devour the women. It acted out a murder for me like a demented director. It then reassemble its core into it corpselike semblance and quickly spun its webs like legs and left. I woke up with an extreme headache as if all the blood was rushing to my head.

Journal Entry 15

The Sightless one returned tonight. It approached me with such malice and haste as if it was running from something or someone. It forced my mouth open with it its coarse bony extremities and opened its eyeless socket. A drop of blood fell into my mouth. It was cold and sour. The demon held me in place as I felt my body begin to convulse. The next thing I remember was waking in that place. It was night there, it was always night there. The light from that distant place was stronger this time. It was stronger because I was closer to it. It looked like some sort of city. The city emitted a subtle pulsating light that possessed a greenish red tint. It was a color that cannot be described by earth colors. It was totally new and alien as if I was seeing these colors through the eyes of another being entirely. I began to walk toward the city when I heard a noise behind me. I span to see what was approaching when I was knocked to the ground by some horrific growling mass. I woke up barely able to breath my chest still sore as if the beast still stood upon me.

Journal Entry 14

The little one returned tonight to torment me again. His tail was rattling long before he slithered into my room. He moved slowly as if to savor the fear he invoked within me. He slither on top of my chest a struck me with his rotting fangs. I could feel the burn as his venom entered my veins. I was paralyzed; I was even unable to blink. He hovered and weaved as if very upset about something. My body left immobile but felt like it was on fire. I preyed for death but it did not come. I knew only pain the fire in my veins and the sound of his frantic bantering. He told me I was to send away any one that visited me. That the pain I was feeling was nothing compared to what he would do to me if I did not do exactly what he said. When I awoke in the morning my body ached all over as if I had been poisoned in my sleep.

Journal Entry 13

Last night my dreams turned sour as the night progressed. First, I began to dream of that girl I dreamt of last night. She is amazing, so strong and so beautiful. However, as she watched over me I could here the noise of something, of some things, approaching. The growling and howling of rabid beasts shattered the serenity of the moment. As their shrieks got louder she hovered down until she was almost lying on top of me. I could feel her soft breath on my face; her breath was warm and fragrant. She gently kissed me and vanished. When she vanished the howling and screeching stopped simultaneously. I’m not sure what it all means but hopefully as time passes I will be able to make sense of it all.

Journal Entry 12

I dreamt of a woman all night. She was beautiful like an angel. She had a great deal in common with the girls I dreamt about of previously. In fact, this one seemed to be a blend of the girls I dreamt of last week. She hovered over my bed as if she was protecting me. She had one blue eye and one brown eye and they stared at me with such admiration. I felt so safe with her there, like she was protecting me from something or someone. Was she a guardian angel or just a figment of my sub-conscious mind and imagination? It didn’t matter, all that mattered is that the demons didn’t visit me and any night they don’t materialize is a good night.

Journal Entry 11

The sightless one returned tonight. He forced me to see that place again. I was back in that cemetery. I could see the giant headstones I could make out a large dirt path. It was wide enough to fit a ten-lane highway within it. I wondered what vehicles passed upon such a road when I heard a strange noise. It was coming from around the corner of the trail. It sounded like hissing, teeth chattering and growling all at once. My skin tightened and my hair stood up on the nape of my neck for I could tell it was approaching me. It was dark but I could see them. A hooded figure which had to stand 10 to 15 feet tall. It drove some form of carriage that was pulled by four creatures, which writhed and snapped as they traversed the trail. They were huge, their flesh was wet looking, and they had many mouths filled with blood stained teeth. The light of that far away place cast shadows that made the creatures look even more intimidating. I woke up in a sweat and lying on the floor in my room. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I sometimes think recording these visions is the only thing keeping me sane.

Journal Entry 10

I thought it was over, at least I hoped it was. I was filled with terror as I recognized the shadow of the little one slithering into my room and I realized it wasn’t over. He was angry and I could tell by how tightly he coiled around me. His welted burned flesh always exuded a putrid odor. He told me that we were behind schedule and we must work extra hard to plan for his arrival. He said that many will visit me and they will visit more frequently to prepare me for the trip. He loosened his grip and quickly slinked purposefully away. I awoke gasping for air. I must have been holding my breath while I was dreaming of him squeezing me. Why does my sub-conscious play such tricks on me? I have made a pot of coffee and I am done sleeping for the rest of tonight. It only makes sense; if I don’t sleep I don’t get uninvited guests.

Journal Entry 9

I had another nightmare last night but I don’t think it was the wicked ones, the demons. This creature was made out of webs. It was a strange creature I could hear it spin its webs so fast it sounded like thousands of whips cracking. I was in my bed and I could hear it coming down the hall. The whipping sound got closer and closer. I watched as webs from some location outside my room began to affix to my doorway, ceiling, floor, and walls. Then suddenly it appeared. There was a solid human like figure suspended in the center of the web. It resembled a corpse wrapped like a mummy hung from the ceiling by yarn. It moved so fast, spinning webs and cutting webs to move about, it quickly position its body directly over me like the demons would do. This one is new though; I have never seen this one before. It was then that I awoke. Now that I am awake and reflecting I think it just may have been my fears playing out. I wrapped myself in the blankets the other night and I felt like a fly in a web. I also am afraid that the demons will return. My mind probably just combined them to generate such vivid nightmare. The demons are gone and will not return for I order them away.

Journal Entry 8

I had an uneventful night. I had trouble sleeping last night and I got up a few times to go to the bathroom. When I did sleep I would awake only to discover that I was clenching my fists when I woke up. My jaw was also quite sore; I suppose maybe I was grinding my teeth while I was sleeping.

Journal Entry 7

Last night, I had a strange dream. I dreamt of another beautiful women. The dream took place identical to the one before. I was lying down and she was hovering above me looking in and watching over me. When the curtain blew up I got glimpses of her face. She was amazing with her big eyes and blonde streaked hair. She was trying to tell me something but I couldn’t hear her words over the howl of the wind. Every time she would attempt to speak the wind would pick up to drown her out. The wind was strong and with it came sounds of talking maybe arguing which were too low and muffled to make out. It was quite an odd dream it left me feeling peacefully uneasy.

Journal Entry 6

Wow, another restful night. No dreams that I can remember but I did tangle myself up in the covers while I slept which awoke me. My predicament sent my heart racing. I thought that the little one had returned and crawled out of my dreams to torment me eternally in both worlds. Fortunately, a couple of rolls and I was free from my self-constructed linen prison. I'll take that over the nightmares any day.

Journal Entry 5

For the first night in years, I experienced restful non-interrupted sleep. No nightmares, no visions, no insanity. I even had a normal dream for once. It was of a beautiful woman with deep blue eyes and perfectly smooth skin looking down upon me through a window. I couldn’t fully make out her features because there was a thin sheer curtain between us. I would only get glimpses of her face when the wind blew up the corners of the curtain. She was floating like an angel and she moved with such grace. I felt a peace wash over me as I admired this magnificent creature. It was the best night sleep I think I ever had. I feel good. I think it might be over. I think I may have exercised the demons. This writing is proving to be very therapeutic; the nightmares seem to be over.

Journal Entry 4

The little one returned tonight. It coiled around me with its infected serpentine flesh. It squeezed me so tight I felt as if I would lose consciousness. I prayed that it would squeeze me to death. So that it may end this nightmare that seems to be endless. I did not wanted to hear what words would fall from it's putrid mouth. It's head wavered in front of me as if to hypnotize me with it repetitive sway. It stared at me like as if I was a fly caught in it's web. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity it spoke to me. It's raspy voice told me that I should be honored and that they are all pleased that I am able to survive such a journey and that it is true that I am the chosen one. Chosen one for what? I did not ask for this. I told the demon I did not invite it, leave and never return. Still, it continued to stare and slowly uncomfortably displayed what seemed to be a smile. It loosened its grip and slithered away. I was proud of myself for being able to rid myself from the demon, if not forever, at least for tonight.

Journal Entry 3

The sightless one came tonight to visited me. He told me it was time to go, time to see. He grabbed my throat with one waxy, claw and forced my eyelids open to stare at his grotesque appearance with the other. Then he opened his scabbed eyelids to reveal deep dark bloody empty sockets. It looked as if starving birds pecked them out. I felt dizzy and then I began to feel myself being pulled. My entire being was being sucked toward this creature as if he was the source of gravity. I found myself falling deep into the hole where once his eyes resided. I was tumbling uncontrollably down, down, down. I don't remember hitting but my body let me know I must of hit hard for I struggle to regain the breathe that the ground had knocked out of me. I gazed around only to find myself in what could only be described as a cemetary for some very large creatures. It was very dark, and a distant pulsating green light from some far off place cast menacing shadows on what seemed to be enormous headstones. There was writing maybe symbols on the stones but it was too dark to read. I could feel the engraving on the giant frosty damp stones as I ran my fingers over their deep, ancient grooves. All of a sudden, I felt myself became very cold as I felt a humming, hissing, breeze came sweeping over me like the breath from a yawning Yeti. I suddenly became acutely aware of just how small and alone I was in this place. The feelings persisted long after I awoke and I still feel like there is a piece of me trapped in that desolate dark place screaming for me to rescue it.

Journal Entry 2

The little one visited me tonight. As I slept I felt his cold wet flesh slither up my leg and sit on my chest. A drop of drool out of its rotting mouth awoke me. He told me there was much that I must see and do. I have proven myself worthy to bear witness. Bear witness to what I could only imagine. The sound of his voice frightened me. I felt anxiety well up inside of me and I lashed out at the beast. I swung my fist outward in hopes of knocking it off my chest but my hand struck only cold air. Yet, I could still feel his weight pushing down on me, making me feel like I couldn't breath. I awoke in a sweat about 12:30 a.m. and sat down to record my experience my hands trembling with every keystroke.

Journal Entry 1

I am unable to sleep, my eyes burn, as if they contained broken glass, and my head throbs as if my next heartbeat would send blood gushing from my orifices. I can hear them call to me from beyond. Their lifeless voices summon the hairs on the back of my neck to stand and tingle. They are so close and yet so far away, their presence is ubiquitous. I am able to feel their cold stale breath on my shoulder when I close my eyes. Why me? Why now? Why this? Sometimes they let me see them, I watch them pass through the walls. Often times they turn slowly to stare at me with a look of malice and sorrow in their eyes. Their frigid glares chill by bones. Why do they say such things like, "You must show the world what you see and know to be real"? They have shown me such wonders and horrors and tonight I must begin to chronicle these encounter for hopes of making some sense of my world in which I attempt to maintain any ounce of sanity that may be buried within me.