Journal Entry 31

I dreamt of a fiery red headed woman last night. She had one blue eye and one brown eye. She hovered over me in a state of unrest. She told me in a whisper that they were coming for her. She confided that they have been chasing her for many millennia but she is always able to elude them. I asked her who was chasing her. She told me it was her brothers. I heard a distant set of screams or maybe they were cries or howls. She heard it too and reacted with a look of concern. She told me she must leave or they may hurt me and she would not allow that to happen. She vanished as if she was a balloon popped with a pin. The room seemed almost menacing after her retreat and I felt acutely alone.

Journal Entry 30

I dreamt of an old woman last night. She sat in a rocking chair next to my bed. She was knitting and rocking. She looked very old and was very wrinkled. She wore darkly tinted bifocals that seemed to give her gray hair a bluish tint. Her voice had a vigor and clarity of a woman a quarter of her age. It was as if she was a young soul cursed to dwell in a dilapidated carcass. I began to sit up and she told me to lie down and rest. She began to talk about all that I have been experiencing. She knew about all of them, the woman/women, the Little One, the Sightless One, and the Webbed One. She even spoke of four others she called the master’s sons. She spoke so calmly like all that I have been experiencing was common practice. She said all would become clear in time. I closed my eyes and just listened to her voice. There was a pause and I opened my eyes to an empty room. She was gone as quickly as she appeared. I witnessed the chair still rocking next to the bed but she was nowhere to be found.

Journal Entry 29

I tried to sleep during the day but there where too many distraction so I fell asleep about 11:00 at night. It was a good night. I had no dreams, no nightmares, and no problems. I think I may finally be making some progress. I know it is too soon to tell but I can only hope.

Journal Entry 28

I slept from 11 a.m. until 6 p.m. on a lawn chair in the backyard. I had no dreams or visions. I may try to sleep during the day when possible. It may be the night that brings them. Time will tell.

Journal Entry 27

I was unable to fall asleep last night. It is going to be a long day.

Journal Entry 26

The sightless one returned tonight. I could smell his rot before he entered the room. He glided along the floor as if it was made of ice. A chill came over me and he pinned me against the bed. His lids opened so fast I questioned if they were ever closed. I felt his eyeless sockets pulling me into the dark place. I awoke on the edge of a cliff. A low pulsating hum and light from behind me made my head pound. In front of me was a pit that seemed to be bottomless. I grabbed for a better grip to ensure I would not slip and fall into the abyss. The hum and pulsating greenish-red light were coming from above and behind me. It cast my shadow into the pit as if it was tempting my body to follow it. I turned to see the light and there it stood, a fortress more immense than any structure on this planet. It was twisted and complex in its architecture. It looked like its purpose was to keep something out or worse yet keep something in. It was then that the ledge broke and I fell into the abyss. It instantly woke me, my heart pounding in my chest.

Journal Entry 25

I did not dream of the demons. Instead I had a dream that I was some sort of creature that could fly. I sat perched in a tree and watched a black cougar with different color eyes feast on a kill on the ground below. It ate as if it was starving but did not look undernourished. The neighboring forest animals squawked with anxiety over the cougar’s presence. It was a strange dream but better then having the demons visit.

Journal Entry 24

The little one returned last night. He slithered in slowly with a concerned almost caring look on his face. He approached the bed like a worried parent coming in to check on his sick child. He told me he was sorry for threatening me the other night and was very remorseful. He then went on to warn me that a woman would come and tell me things. He told me that she was not to be trusted and is out to harm me. He said I am destined for great things but the pretty one only wants to keep me from my divine conquests. He said he and I are both players in a game that is bigger than I could even begin to fathom and we are merely pebbles in a stream. No matter where we place ourselves in the river, the water still flows around us. What is destined to become has already happened and we are just waiting for the “now” to catch up. It was then that the journal falling off the table snapped me out of the dream. I reviewed the videotape and I bumped the table to cause the journal to fall. Thank God!

Journal Entry 23

She returned again last night. Her features had changed yet she was no less beautiful. What was distinct and what made her easily identifiable were her eyes, one was brown and one was blue. She hovered above me wearing flowing white cotton-like material that was blowing slowly in the light breeze. She moves as if she was submerged in water. She spoke softly to me, this time I could hear her. Her voice thundered in my head like someone had placed a microphone and amplifier in my skull. It was angelic in tone and pitch; her word possessed a rhythmic intonation pattern that soothed my soul. She said she had admired me from birth and had waited for eons for my arrival. She apologized for not always being there to protect me from them, the demons, but she had to hide from her pursuers. She promised me she would keep them away as long as she could but they are very strong and very clever. There was the sound of a distant howl. She floated away slowly as if filled with helium and waved reassuringly as she faded away.

Journal Entry 22

I returned to a normal sleep schedule last night and have removed all sharp objects within reach of my bed. I have also begun videotaping my sleep. I hope to discover what happens during these episodes. Last night was my first night taping. However, I didn’t have any dreams last night that I can remember. I reviewed the tape of last night and I saw nothing unusual.

Journal Entry 21

I could not stay awake. The little one returned angrier than I have ever seen him. He slithered in so fast I thought I was a lame mouse and he the starving snake. He grabbed me with his rubbery clammy claws. His nails pierced my sides and I could feel the blood trickle down my naked flesh. He wrapped his tail around my neck and slowly began constricting the airflow. He told me if I ever try to keep them away again he would be forced to punish me. I woke up to the alarm clock’s screaming beacon. I felt a pain in my side. I looked to find punctures in my flesh. Three lacerations on each side, they where positioned one above the next on both sides of my lower back. Dried blood played connect-the-dots from one claw wound to the next down my side. There was blood on the bed and blood on the table next to the bed as well as the tip of the pen on the table.

Journal Entry 20

I haven’t slept in 36 hours. When I lay down to sleep my mind starts racing. The noises in my head are growing louder and I haven’t been able to concentrate. I must go now and try to clear my head, maybe close my eyes and rest.

Journal Entry 19

I fell asleep driving today and almost killed some poor old woman when I swerved into her lane. I am so tired, I don’t know if I can manage my new sleep schedule much longer.

Journal Entry 18

I am attempting to sleep in one-hour chucks in order to avoid REM or dream phases. I have been sleeping one hour and then staying awake for 3. So far no dreams I can remember and more importantly no unwanted visitors.

Journal Entry 17

I did not sleep last night. I do not want to sleep again.

Journal Entry 16

The webbed one returned tonight. It chattered as I heard the cracks of its webs propelling it. It spun its web around me and suspended me from the ceiling. I thought it would eat me or abandon me to die slowly. Instead, at the nexus of the webs where there was once a humanoid mass, the webs now changed into a shape of a woman. Then it morphed into a giant doglike creature that resembled a hairless werewolf. Then it changed again to show both the woman and the werewolf. It began to animate these figures as if it was creating a stage with its webs and the woman and werewolf were its marionettes. It was the puppet master pulling the strings. It then had the canine attack and devour the women. It acted out a murder for me like a demented director. It then reassemble its core into it corpselike semblance and quickly spun its webs like legs and left. I woke up with an extreme headache as if all the blood was rushing to my head.

Journal Entry 15

The Sightless one returned tonight. It approached me with such malice and haste as if it was running from something or someone. It forced my mouth open with it its coarse bony extremities and opened its eyeless socket. A drop of blood fell into my mouth. It was cold and sour. The demon held me in place as I felt my body begin to convulse. The next thing I remember was waking in that place. It was night there, it was always night there. The light from that distant place was stronger this time. It was stronger because I was closer to it. It looked like some sort of city. The city emitted a subtle pulsating light that possessed a greenish red tint. It was a color that cannot be described by earth colors. It was totally new and alien as if I was seeing these colors through the eyes of another being entirely. I began to walk toward the city when I heard a noise behind me. I span to see what was approaching when I was knocked to the ground by some horrific growling mass. I woke up barely able to breath my chest still sore as if the beast still stood upon me.

Journal Entry 14

The little one returned tonight to torment me again. His tail was rattling long before he slithered into my room. He moved slowly as if to savor the fear he invoked within me. He slither on top of my chest a struck me with his rotting fangs. I could feel the burn as his venom entered my veins. I was paralyzed; I was even unable to blink. He hovered and weaved as if very upset about something. My body left immobile but felt like it was on fire. I preyed for death but it did not come. I knew only pain the fire in my veins and the sound of his frantic bantering. He told me I was to send away any one that visited me. That the pain I was feeling was nothing compared to what he would do to me if I did not do exactly what he said. When I awoke in the morning my body ached all over as if I had been poisoned in my sleep.

Journal Entry 13

Last night my dreams turned sour as the night progressed. First, I began to dream of that girl I dreamt of last night. She is amazing, so strong and so beautiful. However, as she watched over me I could here the noise of something, of some things, approaching. The growling and howling of rabid beasts shattered the serenity of the moment. As their shrieks got louder she hovered down until she was almost lying on top of me. I could feel her soft breath on my face; her breath was warm and fragrant. She gently kissed me and vanished. When she vanished the howling and screeching stopped simultaneously. I’m not sure what it all means but hopefully as time passes I will be able to make sense of it all.

Journal Entry 12

I dreamt of a woman all night. She was beautiful like an angel. She had a great deal in common with the girls I dreamt about of previously. In fact, this one seemed to be a blend of the girls I dreamt of last week. She hovered over my bed as if she was protecting me. She had one blue eye and one brown eye and they stared at me with such admiration. I felt so safe with her there, like she was protecting me from something or someone. Was she a guardian angel or just a figment of my sub-conscious mind and imagination? It didn’t matter, all that mattered is that the demons didn’t visit me and any night they don’t materialize is a good night.

Journal Entry 11

The sightless one returned tonight. He forced me to see that place again. I was back in that cemetery. I could see the giant headstones I could make out a large dirt path. It was wide enough to fit a ten-lane highway within it. I wondered what vehicles passed upon such a road when I heard a strange noise. It was coming from around the corner of the trail. It sounded like hissing, teeth chattering and growling all at once. My skin tightened and my hair stood up on the nape of my neck for I could tell it was approaching me. It was dark but I could see them. A hooded figure which had to stand 10 to 15 feet tall. It drove some form of carriage that was pulled by four creatures, which writhed and snapped as they traversed the trail. They were huge, their flesh was wet looking, and they had many mouths filled with blood stained teeth. The light of that far away place cast shadows that made the creatures look even more intimidating. I woke up in a sweat and lying on the floor in my room. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I sometimes think recording these visions is the only thing keeping me sane.

Journal Entry 10

I thought it was over, at least I hoped it was. I was filled with terror as I recognized the shadow of the little one slithering into my room and I realized it wasn’t over. He was angry and I could tell by how tightly he coiled around me. His welted burned flesh always exuded a putrid odor. He told me that we were behind schedule and we must work extra hard to plan for his arrival. He said that many will visit me and they will visit more frequently to prepare me for the trip. He loosened his grip and quickly slinked purposefully away. I awoke gasping for air. I must have been holding my breath while I was dreaming of him squeezing me. Why does my sub-conscious play such tricks on me? I have made a pot of coffee and I am done sleeping for the rest of tonight. It only makes sense; if I don’t sleep I don’t get uninvited guests.

Journal Entry 9

I had another nightmare last night but I don’t think it was the wicked ones, the demons. This creature was made out of webs. It was a strange creature I could hear it spin its webs so fast it sounded like thousands of whips cracking. I was in my bed and I could hear it coming down the hall. The whipping sound got closer and closer. I watched as webs from some location outside my room began to affix to my doorway, ceiling, floor, and walls. Then suddenly it appeared. There was a solid human like figure suspended in the center of the web. It resembled a corpse wrapped like a mummy hung from the ceiling by yarn. It moved so fast, spinning webs and cutting webs to move about, it quickly position its body directly over me like the demons would do. This one is new though; I have never seen this one before. It was then that I awoke. Now that I am awake and reflecting I think it just may have been my fears playing out. I wrapped myself in the blankets the other night and I felt like a fly in a web. I also am afraid that the demons will return. My mind probably just combined them to generate such vivid nightmare. The demons are gone and will not return for I order them away.

Journal Entry 8

I had an uneventful night. I had trouble sleeping last night and I got up a few times to go to the bathroom. When I did sleep I would awake only to discover that I was clenching my fists when I woke up. My jaw was also quite sore; I suppose maybe I was grinding my teeth while I was sleeping.

Journal Entry 7

Last night, I had a strange dream. I dreamt of another beautiful women. The dream took place identical to the one before. I was lying down and she was hovering above me looking in and watching over me. When the curtain blew up I got glimpses of her face. She was amazing with her big eyes and blonde streaked hair. She was trying to tell me something but I couldn’t hear her words over the howl of the wind. Every time she would attempt to speak the wind would pick up to drown her out. The wind was strong and with it came sounds of talking maybe arguing which were too low and muffled to make out. It was quite an odd dream it left me feeling peacefully uneasy.

Journal Entry 6

Wow, another restful night. No dreams that I can remember but I did tangle myself up in the covers while I slept which awoke me. My predicament sent my heart racing. I thought that the little one had returned and crawled out of my dreams to torment me eternally in both worlds. Fortunately, a couple of rolls and I was free from my self-constructed linen prison. I'll take that over the nightmares any day.

Journal Entry 5

For the first night in years, I experienced restful non-interrupted sleep. No nightmares, no visions, no insanity. I even had a normal dream for once. It was of a beautiful woman with deep blue eyes and perfectly smooth skin looking down upon me through a window. I couldn’t fully make out her features because there was a thin sheer curtain between us. I would only get glimpses of her face when the wind blew up the corners of the curtain. She was floating like an angel and she moved with such grace. I felt a peace wash over me as I admired this magnificent creature. It was the best night sleep I think I ever had. I feel good. I think it might be over. I think I may have exercised the demons. This writing is proving to be very therapeutic; the nightmares seem to be over.

Journal Entry 4

The little one returned tonight. It coiled around me with its infected serpentine flesh. It squeezed me so tight I felt as if I would lose consciousness. I prayed that it would squeeze me to death. So that it may end this nightmare that seems to be endless. I did not wanted to hear what words would fall from it's putrid mouth. It's head wavered in front of me as if to hypnotize me with it repetitive sway. It stared at me like as if I was a fly caught in it's web. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity it spoke to me. It's raspy voice told me that I should be honored and that they are all pleased that I am able to survive such a journey and that it is true that I am the chosen one. Chosen one for what? I did not ask for this. I told the demon I did not invite it, leave and never return. Still, it continued to stare and slowly uncomfortably displayed what seemed to be a smile. It loosened its grip and slithered away. I was proud of myself for being able to rid myself from the demon, if not forever, at least for tonight.

Journal Entry 3

The sightless one came tonight to visited me. He told me it was time to go, time to see. He grabbed my throat with one waxy, claw and forced my eyelids open to stare at his grotesque appearance with the other. Then he opened his scabbed eyelids to reveal deep dark bloody empty sockets. It looked as if starving birds pecked them out. I felt dizzy and then I began to feel myself being pulled. My entire being was being sucked toward this creature as if he was the source of gravity. I found myself falling deep into the hole where once his eyes resided. I was tumbling uncontrollably down, down, down. I don't remember hitting but my body let me know I must of hit hard for I struggle to regain the breathe that the ground had knocked out of me. I gazed around only to find myself in what could only be described as a cemetary for some very large creatures. It was very dark, and a distant pulsating green light from some far off place cast menacing shadows on what seemed to be enormous headstones. There was writing maybe symbols on the stones but it was too dark to read. I could feel the engraving on the giant frosty damp stones as I ran my fingers over their deep, ancient grooves. All of a sudden, I felt myself became very cold as I felt a humming, hissing, breeze came sweeping over me like the breath from a yawning Yeti. I suddenly became acutely aware of just how small and alone I was in this place. The feelings persisted long after I awoke and I still feel like there is a piece of me trapped in that desolate dark place screaming for me to rescue it.

Journal Entry 2

The little one visited me tonight. As I slept I felt his cold wet flesh slither up my leg and sit on my chest. A drop of drool out of its rotting mouth awoke me. He told me there was much that I must see and do. I have proven myself worthy to bear witness. Bear witness to what I could only imagine. The sound of his voice frightened me. I felt anxiety well up inside of me and I lashed out at the beast. I swung my fist outward in hopes of knocking it off my chest but my hand struck only cold air. Yet, I could still feel his weight pushing down on me, making me feel like I couldn't breath. I awoke in a sweat about 12:30 a.m. and sat down to record my experience my hands trembling with every keystroke.

Journal Entry 1

I am unable to sleep, my eyes burn, as if they contained broken glass, and my head throbs as if my next heartbeat would send blood gushing from my orifices. I can hear them call to me from beyond. Their lifeless voices summon the hairs on the back of my neck to stand and tingle. They are so close and yet so far away, their presence is ubiquitous. I am able to feel their cold stale breath on my shoulder when I close my eyes. Why me? Why now? Why this? Sometimes they let me see them, I watch them pass through the walls. Often times they turn slowly to stare at me with a look of malice and sorrow in their eyes. Their frigid glares chill by bones. Why do they say such things like, "You must show the world what you see and know to be real"? They have shown me such wonders and horrors and tonight I must begin to chronicle these encounter for hopes of making some sense of my world in which I attempt to maintain any ounce of sanity that may be buried within me.