Journal Entry 59

I awoke to what sounded like angry chanting. It was faint but audible. I rose from my bed and tried to get a fix on the sound. It got stronger as I walked toward the front closet. It was coming from under the floor. I grabbed the axe that I had purchased from the hardware store today and swung it violently at the oak floor. The blade split the boards and I pulled hard to sheer the wood. The hole I had made emitted a dusty, mildew soaked belch of air into my face. There was a breeze coming from the hole I just created. I reached my hand into the blackness of the hole and found only open space. I quickly used the axe to widen the hole only to find a passageway carved in stone leading down. My heart began to feel like it was going to pound out of my chest. I felt acutely afraid of what I might find if I entered this dark orifice. I quickly put the door back on its hinges and locked the closet. I have had enough adventures for one night. I slept with all the lights on in the house.

Journal Entry 58

I took the hinges of the closet door today. The room had blood splashed on the walls and scratch marks on the wood floor. I was horrified to think about what may have transpired in here. I did not know or I could remember both frightened me. Unfortunately, that was only the beginning. I notice that the scratch marks stopped at one of the boards. I knocked on it and it was hollow. In fact, it seemed like a 2 * 2 foot section of floor was hollow. I reached around for cracks of raises in the wood to pry the floor up but I found none. It is to late to go get the tools to bust up the floor so I guess I’ll just wait for tomorrow. I had no dreams last night but do remember hearing faint chanting as I began to dose off.

Journal Entry 57

I dreamt of a light coming from down the hallway last night. It had a faint pulse that would peak about every couple of seconds. I heard what sounded like faint voices, it almost sounded like chanting. I got out of bed and walked toward the door. I peeked around the corner saw the light was coming from under the closet door. I walked to the closet and slowly began to open it. Just then the door blasted open and knocked me to the floor. There in the door was the Webbed one. It was shaped like a giant spider, it quickly pinned me to the floor and let out a blood-curdling screech. I woke up gasping and sweating. I still am unable to find the key to that closet. Tomorrow I will take the hinges of it. That may calm the nightmare for a while.

Journal Entry 56

I was extremely fatigued all day. I felt like I just came out of a coma. I worked on picking up the house and I found a lot of dirt, rocks and what appears to be scratch marks by the front closet. The closet is locked and I am too tired to search for the key. I had no dreams today but I did most of sleeping during the day on and off. I just feel exhausted and sore. I hope to feel better tomorrow so that I may take care of house and I need to go grocery shopping.

Journal Entry 55

I awoke today to a room that was totally foreign to me. The basic geometry of the room was the same but everything in it was alien to me. I jumped out of bed and began to panic. I ran past a mirror as I sprinted toward the hallway. There in the mirror I did not recognize the thing that I saw. What I saw was too hideous to describe. My skin was as black as coal and greasy like oil. My teeth were razor sharp and long. My eyes were catlike and my pupils were elongated and reflected. I also noticed wings that tucked and folded onto my back quite compactly. I let out a scream and a wave came. I could feel the wave build inside of me and then suddenly it released. The building that housed me exploded apart with such force that an observer would have thought a nuclear bomb had exploded. I felt an intense feeling come over me as I sat in the apex of the mighty concussive blow that I had just unleashed with a roar. I felt the comfort of power, the intoxicating feeling of invincibility showered over me. I awoke today June 9 after falling asleep the night of May 25. I have a full beard and the food in my refrigerator has been eaten. I reviewed my videotape that I use to monitor my sleep and it stopped taping after six hours, which showed me lying in bed sleeping. I live alone and don’t know anyone in this area. I wonder how this could happen? I’m scared. I’m confused.

Journal Entry 54

I did not sleep again last night. My nerves are shot. I need some sleep. Pray for me.

Journal Entry 53

Arias visited me last night. He glided across the floor on a blanket of air. He grabbed me and forced me to look at his rotting face. His skin moved as if some insects lie beneath his skin eating him from the inside out. He opened an empty eye socket and a bloody maggot fell into my mouth that he held open. I attempted to call him by name but he held my mouth closed so the maggot could crawl into my stomach. I could feel a small series of stings as the larva squirmed into the pit of my stomach. Then my entire body began to burn. It was so intense that I thought I was being burned alive. I blacked out and when I came to I was in the dark place. I was at a stream that ran black as ink. To my back was the fortress of prior dreams humming and pulsing its greenish red light. I walked up to the stream and looked over it. There in the shining black water I saw my reflection. I had acquired horns, wings, fangs and claws. My wings were flapping ever so slightly to the pulse of the light. I also in the water caught a glimpse of something flying above me. I spun to look and my planted hand touch the water. The water grabbed me and pulled me into the stream. I woke up and sat strait up in my bed sweating and exhausted. I felt as if I had been poisoned.

Journal Entry 52

The Old one visited me tonight. I could hear the sound of her rocking at my bedside. She stroked my head softly. Her hand felt like a raisin made of velvet with it wrinkles and thin skin. She said she was here to answer my questions. She began to speak without me saying a word. "Seth was born to be the leader, the muscle of the father. However, he alone could not apprehend the Free one. So the father gave birth to Arias, the second son, and the father’s seer. He was regurgitated from the pit of the father’s stomach on the Sabbath. The Father ripped Arias’s eyes from their sockets so that he would learn to see from within. It is his job to look throughout the universes to find the Free one." I felt the breeze enter the room and I heard the rocking chair settle to still. I opened my eyes to find myself alone. The Old one was gone and I felt abandoned and enlightened by her visit.

Journal Entry 51

I had insomnia last night and did not sleep. I’m going to be tired today.

Journal Entry 50

I dreamt of the Beautiful one last night. We were in the mountains overlooking a giant hot spring. There were animals that looked like polar bears with horns like a ram that bathed and feed on the bank of the spring. A red moon was rising and bright blue rings surrounded it. We were holding hands and she was leaning on my shoulder. She looked at me and thanked me for bringing her here. She said it was so serene and tranquil. She said that she had run from here brothers for more millennia then she could remember. She was so tired of running and said she new I would come to save her. Her statement generated many questions for me. I wanted to ask her about her brothers. I wanted to know why they were chasing her. It was then that a fierce wind blew a large branch against my window causing me to awake. The bang was so loud it sounded like a bomb had exploded.

Journal Entry 49

The little one visited me last night. His agitation was transparent by the speed in which he rattled his tail. He slithered into my room very rapidly, coiled and pounced on top of me. He grabbed me by the throat and stared at me. His head cocked slightly, gazing, contemplating what pains he would impose upon me. He whipped me with his tale and I was sure I felt blood trickle down my leg where his tail stuck me. However, I was unable to turn my head to inspect the damage he had inflicted since his grip was like iron. In a fight for air as he squeezed my neck I yelled, “Quit Seth”! His eyes widened and his grip loosened. He looked bewildered almost frightened by my statement. He snapped, “How dare you speak my name”? “Which of my enemies have you made a pact with?” Oh no, I was afraid I gave away the Beautiful one’s secret. I feared that if he knew it was her that informed me then he hunt her down and kill her. I feebly attempted to throw him off the trail. I looked at him sternly and barked loudly, “I am learning to control my gift so to hell with you demon before I show you what else I have learned.” I was trembling inside for fear he would call my bluff. He stared at me with a look of frustration and confusion. That look seemed to last for an eternity but finally he slithered out of the room never taking his eyes off me as he made his exit. I exhaled, realizing that I was not breathing as he inspected me during his departure. I awoke in a sweat and the videotape showed that I was flailing under the covers I also had a scrape on my leg. I may have scratched myself in the frenzy of the nightmare.

Journal Entry 48

I dreamt of the blue/brown eye girl again last night. This time she had short jet-black hair and had smooth olive skin. She always looked different but she was always beautiful. We were in a cave. The light from holes above bounced off the multicolored crystals that lined the cavern floor casting a kaleidoscope of colors on the walls and lake contained within the cavity. We were sitting on a ledge that looked like it was fashioned from a giant red ruby. She was telling me something. I pulled my attention to listen to her words. She said that Seth was the oldest brother. He was birthed from the vomit of the father. His existence and will is nothing more than an extension of his creator. Seth’s only purpose is to serve his father. His snake-like form is one of the father archetypes, one of his pure forms. I did not understand what it all meant but in time I felt the pieces might come together. It was a strange and wonderful dream.

Journal Entry 47

The sightless on returned tonight. He glided across the room so effortlessly hands outstretched anticipating finding my neck. He latched onto to me in a parasitic rage. I tried to look away from him but he grabbed my face and forced my eyes open. I fell fast into those deep empty bloody sockets where his eyes may or may not have once existed. I awoke on a cold stone-like surface. My body tingled as if it was a limb that had fallen asleep. I could hear the hum and pulsing of something under me. I discovered by a quick inspection that I was suspended on top of that dark city that with every dream I approached closer and closer. I was standing on top of some type of platform that resembled a capped smoke stack. I was perched upon the apex of the fortress. There was no higher point then the one I now inhabited. How did I get up here? It was taller then any structure on earth its glow surrounded my, engulfed me. It was then that I looked up to see its shadow. Some large winged creature circling me like a vulture. It was to dark to distinguish what the creature was but it did not look friendly. The next thing I remember was waking up with my body sore and my mouth dry.

Journal Entry 46

I dreamt of the women again. We were in a blue flowing field of grain perched on a cliff overlooking a yellow tinted sky. The sky was fading to red as a pair of twin suns set over a calm green ocean. We were holding hand and the wind through her hair made her look even more spectacular and radiant than I remembered her. Her skin was very tan and smooth and her lips were so full I almost ached to kiss them. I focused on her mouth as if I would kiss her and then she spoke. She thanked me for bringing her to this beautiful place and told me how safe she felt with me. She turned to look at me as if she was about to confide in me. She then said in a meek tone, they are all an extension of the father. I asked her whom she was speaking? She said the same creatures that haunt me hunt her. I was puzzled over what this was all about. Just then the bookshelf on my wall broke and the crashing books pulled me from my temporary paradise. Maybe in time I will come to understand what she was trying to tell me.

Journal Entry 45

I dreamt last night of the blue/brown eye women. She was tall and blonde this time but those eyes are unmistakable. She was breathing hard as if she was running from something. I could hear what sounded like growling coming at us from all sides as if we were surrounded by a pack of starving wolves. She spoke to me; her voice was confident and soft. Her voice seemed to originate inside of me as if she was talking from inside of me. She told me not to look concerned; her brothers were not strong enough or wise enough to catch her. She said she would be watching and leaned over to kiss me. Her lips were soft and smooth and her eyes almost seemed to glow as if she was made of light and disguised her brilliants by containing it within her flesh. I woke up feeling pretty good and I cannot stop thinking of her.

Jounal Entry 44

My heart has been racing all day. It is like my body is a car with the pedal pushed to the floor but the car is not in gear. I found myself many times through out the day feeling like I was going to pass out and I would start sweating for no reason. I am done with the anti-depressants! I stopped taking the Prazosin and I refuse to try any others. I would rather dream just at night rather than being dead and never being able to wake from the nightmare.

Journal Entry 43

I have been shaky and scatterbrained all day. I have caught myself many times just spacing out. I’m generally feeling worse and worse. I have a sneaking suspicion that it is the Prazosin. I’m probably just experiencing my body getting use to the drug being introduced into my system. Time will tell but for now the lack of dreams are a warm welcome.

Journal Entry 42

I have felt generally uneasy all day. It might be that I’m catching a cold or maybe an allergy to something I ate. I feel like I’m in a daze like I just woke up or something, except the feeling of just being awakened has lasted all day. I hope it is not the new medicine. It allowed me to sleep without a dream last night.

Journal Entry 41

I went to the psychiatrist again. She changed my medication to Prazosin. It seems to be working since the night came and went without a dream. I feel pretty good on this stuff too.

Journal Entry 40

The Webbed one came in my sleep last night. It spun its way into my room so fast I thought it meant to consume me. The whipping of its web sounded reminiscent of machine gun fire. It quickly spun me tight and sat me upright. It attached webs to my eyelids and secured the other ends tight around my head. I could feel my eyes begin to burn since I was no longer able to blink or shut them. He was forcing me to be the audience to another sadistic puppet show. The webs in the middle of this creatures body began to pulse and change shape. First, an image of a wolf appeared then the one wolf split symmetrically into four wolves. Each wolf spun around and prowled north, south, east, and west. Then they turned around on the stage, fabricated from webs, and stared at the center where they just walked from. There in the middle formed a woman. They all attacked her from their four directions converging on her as if it was all some sadistic synchronized feeding frenzy. They then turned to concentrate their attention on me. They all lunged at me, I screamed, awoke, and sat up.

Journal Entry 39

The old women returned tonight. I heard her rocking so I opened my eyes to see who was visiting me. Her eyes lie concealed behind her thick dark bifocals. She looked so frail as if at any time her sagging skin would dissolve from the skeleton in which it barely clung to. She began to speak as if to give me answers to questions I have yet to ask. She said, in a matter of fact way, that they are all related. I asked who was all related. She said the demons were all brothers. They were born of the father. The wind picked up and began to make a noise that sounded like howling. I began to ask what she meant by born of the father but she was gone. The chair was still rocking as if she was still seated upon it but had become transparent.

Journal Entry 38

The Sightless One returned tonight. He chattered his teeth as he slid across the room. He grabbed me and forced me to look into those lifeless empty sockets. I awoke from the fall to find myself in the dark land. I was at a set of doors that had to be 40 feet tall. The shape of the doors, the archway and the writing on them made the two doors resemble a single headstone that I remember seeing in the cemetery. I could hear sounds, see colors, and smell things that where not typical for a human. I heard a flutter behind me; I spun to find wings attached to my back flapping. They began to beat in rhythm with the pulses of light and sound that exuded from behind the set of doors. It was as if something behind those doors had control of the wings. I awoke to a terrible back spasm. It hurts to turn my neck, so I’ll write more when I feel better.

Journal Entry 37

Last night was a night of reprieve. I dreamt of a beautiful woman again. This time was different in terms of setting. All my encounters up until now were always in my room. This time I was in a meadow with one giant oak tree that went into the clouds and many streams met at the giant oak. I was lying against the tree and she was sitting crossed legged across from me smiling. Her face was different the rest of the women I dreamt about but she had one brown eye and one blue which never seemed to vary. She thanked me for bringing her to this place. She said she felt safe and wanted to rest. I felt desire well up inside of me and I felt the need to touch her. Her skin felt warm and smooth and she placed her hand on my thigh. She said that her brothers would never find her here and she wanted to sleep. She placed her head in my lap and I stroked her head until she fell asleep. That was the last thing I can recall from the dream before I awoke.

Journal Entry 36

I dreamt again last night. The Little One returned. He slithered in with his tail rattling in dismay. He was wounded, he had a large chunk of his putrid flesh ripped and hanging. He coiled around me and sunk his fangs into my shoulder. I felt the burn as his poison paralyzed me. I sat there wishing to scream in agony but I was unable to make a sound. I was a corpse whose soul refused to depart its lifeless body. He tore the hanging flesh from his side and squeezed its rotting juices into my gaping mouth. He said that my rebellion caused his wounds and I was to taste his pain. The taste and smell of the substance in my mouth made me want to vomit but my body was unable to comply. He said didn’t want it to be like this but I brought this upon myself. He said he and his brothers are the ones who can teach me how use my gift if only I stop resisting. The pain was intense and even though he was inches from me it felt like he was miles away. I wanted to ask him who his brothers were but I was unable to mouth the words. I awoke gasping for air. Unfortunately, I was unable to review the tape of my sleep since the storm knocked out the power about midnight.

Journal Entry 35

I have been vomiting all day with a migraine headache. I am going to have to discontinue my medication. I couldn't keep it down even if I did take it. It’s not fair. I dream I suffer, I don't dream I suffer. Maybe I was just created to suffer.

Journal Entry 34

I have had a headache all day. I have been dizzy and unable to think strait. I think it is from the Topiramate. I hope my body acclimates to the drug or else I may have to stop taking it. However, it is effective at keeping me from dreaming.

Journal Entry 33

I went to see a psychiatrist about my problem nightmares. She prescribed a medication to help with the nightmares. It is drug called Topiramate. It seems to be working. I had no dreams last night but I feel strange today. It may be a side effect of the drug.

Journal Entry 32

The old women returned again tonight. She said it was her job to make sure I understood what was happening to me. She said I was a psychic conduit between worlds. She further explained that have achieved the pinnacle of mental evolution, dimensional freedom. She sat calmly rocking and in her sweet young voice began telling me my genetic make-up was assembled in such a way that it resonated as a gateway between many worlds. She said that my mind is the key to the vehicle and I must work on learning to channel it like a baby learns to walk. She said that there are very powerful forces that have discovered my universal uniqueness and are fighting over me as if I was a commodity to be bought and sold. They all have there own interests in mind and will do what ever it takes to control my gift and me. My head began to ache and I began to here voices as if a crowd was gathering around me. I felt very frightened, awoke and sat strait up. The window was open and a strong breeze was rocking the chair next to my bed. I shut the window turned on all the lights and was unable to fall back asleep.